Redeeming Love : Redeeming Abuse?
I recently learned that Francine Rivers’ book Redeeming Love is getting turned into a movie. Since for such a long time that book was a large part of how I understood love, I decided to re-read it now, a few years later, and look critically at how it portrays love. What I found was disturbing to me. What is presented as most pure form of love is, at its core, abusive. I couldn’t find a single in-depth critique of the book anywhere, so I decided to make one myself.
"A book that is supposed to give us a living picture of love gives an image instead of a woman being manipulated, controlled, and abused. Angel is not able to choose what she wants or have any type of self-defining power. Michael knows what she wants more than she does and won’t let her choose anything else. Angel is also the one who is portrayed as sinful, fallen, and living a life of sin away from God - even though her "sin" was that she was sold into child prostitution at age eight and has been abused her entire life. The whole story just left me feeling gross. My conclusion after finishing this book was that Michael Hosea, who Rivers tries hard to portray as the embodiment of all that is good and beautiful in the world, was actually someone I would have to call abusive. His abuse was not always as obvious or overt to Angel as the men in her past because he couched it in language of love and because she had never experienced a loving, healthy relationship. Her self-worth was low and she trusted the first man who did not treat her like crap. But more "benevolent" abuse is still abuse."
1:31 am • 26 July 2014 • 1 note
“America was built on two monumental crimes: the genocide of the Native American and the enslavement of the African American. The tendency of official America is to memorialize other peoples’ crimes and to forget its own - to seek a high moral ground as a pretext to ignore real issues.”
I have never seen such perfect sentences.
2:28 am • 22 July 2014 • 26,471 notes
I just spend the last hour engaging in a conversation on Twitter about trigger warnings. This person has a few thousand followers and had tweeted something mocking those who need trigger warnings, basically saying that the internet is full of triggering things and you need to take responsibility for your own healing and recovery. (I may or may not have called said person an asshole.)
Here’s the thing: I own my recovery. I am careful of the spaces I navigate and I don’t expect the world to cater to my needs. And having said that, I can’t avoid the entire world. I can’t avoid the internet. So when people put lovely trigger warnings on things, I can better protect my mental health. It’s not asking a lot of people to add two letters before sharing an article or post. It’s the same thing as with a friend who is a recovering alcoholic. If we’re going someplace with alcohol, I would want her to know ahead of time for her own safety. I let her know because I care about her and she can make decisions on how to proceed from there.
Especially when we start talking about PTSD, it is vitally important to put trigger warnings on things. This is not about “restricting freedom” but rather because we care about the mental health of the people in the spaces and communities we occupy. We can to look out for the well-being of our friends AND recognize their agency in the choices for the healing and recovery. Trigger warnings are ways we can better ensure that someone doesn’t have to relive violence or trauma they experienced, or feel increased urges to self-harm or purge, why would we NOT do that?
This person talking with me had come out of Christian fundamentalism, like I did. She kept saying that all of these “rules” in feminism felt like fundamentalism all over again, so I’d like to write a few things here that I said to her.
Fundamentalism, in my experience, was all about power. It was about appeasing those in power (whether that be “god” or leaders), protecting those in power, and being manipulated by those in power. In this new feminist framework, it was all about those without power. It’s focus was on those who were marginalized and oppressed and abused. In this way of doing life, it was not about me submitting to rules but using my newfound agency (as I was no longer powerless either) to care about others and create a world that was healing, liberating and life-affirming. That wasn’t oppressive or “new fundamentalism,” it was freedom.
Being an empathetic human being is NOT THAT HARD. Asking for you to think outside of yourself and to somehow who has been through shit and might be triggered by content you post is not asking much. You aren’t being policed, this is not about following rules. It IS about caring about the people around you and the hurts that they have experienced.
11:55 pm • 21 July 2014 • 2 notes
From Judy Grahn’s “Detroit Annie, Hitchhiking”
12:27 am • 19 July 2014 • 2 notes
American narcissism is telling immigrants that they should be grateful to live here, when it’s, more likely than not, some form of American interference that destabilized their home nation.
THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU LIKE YOURE THE FUCKING REASON I LEFT MY HOME YOU RAGING SELF RIGHTEOUS PRICKS!!!
5:03 am • 12 July 2014 • 13,741 notes
today’s list of fun things to know
a ) I suck at self-promoting
b ) I am not a writer. I am a painter. Let’s keep this in mind.
c ) I started a new blog. We’ll see, we’ll see.
d ) It’s about feminist theology / justice-oriented healthy views of love
e ) so if you’re into that
f ) the link is here: creatingaplacetostand.blogspot.com
g ) If you’re not into that, don’t worry. We’re still cool.
2:46 am • 12 July 2014 • 1 note
We decided to stop by Hobby Lobby on our way home.
10:48 pm • 30 June 2014 • 1 note
“The narrative around any act of anti-abortion violence quickly turns to talk of lone wolves, sick individuals acting outside the parameters and without any support or encouragement from “mainstream” or “nonviolent” organizations. Again and again, however, perpetrators of violence and extreme acts of harassment are shown to be directly connected to the same network of people and organizations.”
Adding Cubs to the Pack of Lone Wolves
Anti-abortion terrorism is not an anomaly. Fill people with talk of “baby killers,” “whores,” and “enemies of God” from the time they are born, teach them to mercilessly terrorize patients and staff, and murder is nothing more than the inevitable endgame.
7:25 pm • 27 June 2014 • 534 notes
The MRA hashtag is a scary corner of the internet.
11:22 pm • 23 June 2014